Never say never

Apologies for the lack of contact recently, life has just been crazy busy, but mostly in a good way.

7 years ago, my health took a massive hit when I first got sick, and people started to write me off, several years later after a huge flare up, which left me unable to use my legs, people had pretty much given up on me, told me I'd never get bettter, that I had no future, 2.5 years ago when my digestive system went wonky, all the medics gave up on me, I think my parents had too, and most people were shocked I managed to do anything at all other than stay in bed. What they didn't know and to an extent what I hadn't realised or more likely didn't want to acknowledge for fear of it not continuing was that I was recovering from the original illness that I had so many years ago. It has been subtle, so steahly, that I didn't realise it had happened until I tested it. So now although more disabled, I no longer refer to myself as sick. When this all started, I was told I'd never row again, my mum wanted to get rid of all my kit, but I made her keep all the main items, mostly for sentimental reasons, but part of me just couldn't accept I'd never do it again.

Back in October I decided to try getting back in a boat. I won't lie it was very hard at first, but absolutely wonderful to be back. Some adjustments had to be made in that I'm now an adaptive rower, arms & shoulder category.

As you may be aware I had quite a lot of time out through ill health and as a consequence it wasn't really until I started on TPN that I became well enough to take it on seriously.

Two weekends ago, I did my first race as an adaptive rower. I was the only entrant so it was a bit difficult to judge my performance.

Last weekend, however, I had my first race against someone in the same classification category as myself. The very exciting news is that I WON, in the words of the commentator I won easily :-D that saw me into the final, where I was to race against someone in a more able category. Sadly I lost that race, but I was close, which was very pleasing.

All of this is a bit overwhelming I don't quite know how I've arrived here, it seemed to suddenly click into place, and it's kind of surreal, especially if something comes true that I'm waiting to hear from the official selector about, but fingers crossed. Will update about that if it happens.

As I said I can't really believe that I've got here, however, I was watching some videos supposedly of adaptive rowing, but there wasn't much rowing, I did, however, find some inspirational quotes, my favourite being "When they tell you what you want to do is impossible, they don't know you." I think this is very true for my situation and many others. Other people don't know what you're capable and therefore shouldn't write you off. Another I quite liked was "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do, but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart that's strength."

I know many people aren't able to be in this position, but I think most of us can somehow break down the barriers and assumptions people have about us.